Between Earth And Mars

By the time Theodore and Mattheo leave the city, it is almost midnight. The roads stretch emptier the farther they go, long ribbons of asphalt lit briefly by passing headlights before disappearing back into dark. Mattheo drives with one hand loose on the wheel, the other tapping absently against the telescope box between them like he is impatient for the future to arrive.

The telescope had cost more than either of them admitted aloud.

“You know,” Theodore says quietly, watching blurred lights pass outside the window, “most people buy impractical things during a crisis. Boats. Motorcycles. Affairs.”

Mattheo snorts. “And we bought a telescope.”

“To look at a planet neither of us can afford to move to.”

“Yet.”

Theodore glances at him then. Mattheo is smiling faintly, but there is something restless underneath it, something that has been there for months now. Maybe longer.

The city had started feeling smaller recently. Louder too. Every conversation there sounded temporary.

They stop near an abandoned field nearly two hours later. The air outside is cold enough to sting Theodore’s lungs. Above them, the sky opens endlessly, thick with stars dulled by distance.

Mattheo sets up the telescope with careful concentration. Theodore watches his fingers instead of helping.

“You really think people are going to live there?” he asks eventually.

“Mars?” Mattheo adjusts the lens. “People live everywhere eventually.”

Theodore hums softly.

When Mattheo finally steps aside, Theodore leans forward to look through the telescope. For a moment he sees nothing but darkness.

Then Mars appears. Small. Red. Quietly glowing against the black around it.

Theodore stares at it longer than he means to.

“It looks lonely,” he says.

Mattheo goes still beside him, though Theodore cannot tell whether it is agreement or recognition.

Silence roams the air with the music of the wind brushing through the fields. The telescope stands in the overgrown grass, still pointing to Mars.

Mattheo shifts uncomfortably and tilts his head upwards. The stars flicker beautifully in the sky, like they hold some promise. Mattheo rubs his hands together, noticing the cold causing the muscles in his fingers to become stiff.

“I’ve—” Mattheo shifts to his left. He reaches inside his pocket and pulls out a wad of cash. He flips through the money, recounting it for the millionth time. “I’ve been saving—”

“What?” Theodore shakes his head. A span of different emotions flies across his face. He leans and seizes the money from Mattheo’s hands. Theodore quickly counts the money in a few mutters and lets out a soft laugh.

“I didn’t tell you. I went and got a second job… I’ve been saving up for a few months. I only need a little more before—” Mattheo trails off, hesitating before saying the next few words.

Theodore lets out a little smile. “You can’t be serious!” Mattheo sighs in utter relief as he returns the smile. Theodore slaps the money into Mattheo’s palm and jumps up. He returns to the telescope, looking at it with new eyes. Mars, the rusty-colored planet, stands alone in the telescope.

Mattheo slides the money back into his pocket and shrugs happily. Theodore peels his gaze from the planet. “It’s an option now.”

Mattheo folds his arms and shivers with goosebumps. Theodore lightly taps the telescope. He squints his eyes, attempting to see Mars without the telescope’s help.

“Yeah,” Theodore sighs. “It’s the option.”

Mattheo keeps smiling on the drive back.

Theodore watches the passing headlights smear across the windows and thinks about the second job. About months slipping by unnoticed while Mattheo folded shirts somewhere under fluorescent lights or carried boxes or counted hours Theodore knew nothing about.

Beside him, Mattheo taps his fingers against the steering wheel in restless little rhythms. Hope looks strange on him. Too bright. Theodore has the sudden irrational fear that touching it too carelessly might make it disappear.

“It’s an option now,” Mattheo says again quietly, eyes still fixed on the road ahead.

Theodore nods.

An option.

Mattheo had said it so easily earlier, as though Theodore had already agreed to belong in that future. Or maybe as though he had not needed to.

The thought settles heavily somewhere beneath Theodore’s ribs.

He smiles anyway because Mattheo looks lighter than he has in months, and Theodore cannot bear to be the thing that dims him again. Not tonight. Maybe not ever.

Outside, the world passes dark and endless beside them.

“You really think people can just leave everything behind?” Theodore asks after a while.

Mattheo glances at him briefly. “I think people try to.”

Theodore looks down at his hands.

Mars had looked lonely through the telescope. Small and red and impossibly far away. Still, Mattheo had stared at it like it held the answer to something neither of them could name aloud.

Theodore thinks, suddenly, that Mattheo would follow hope anywhere it appeared. And Theodore, despite everything, would probably follow Mattheo.

Not because he believed another planet could fix them.

But because the idea of being left behind on Earth hurt far worse than leaving it behind first.

A few weeks have passed since the night with the telescope. Mattheo stuffs a few pieces of clothing into a small duffel bag and adjusts his uniform. The rules for traveling to Mars are strict, and they are extremely limited on what they can bring. The uniform is bright blue with a few small patches.

Mattheo pauses. Over the past few months, he has done extensive research to get a sense of what life would become. Extremely cold temperatures and dusty air. Anytime one wishes to go outside, a spacesuit would be required. Goodbye to the beauty of nature and walking outside during a thunderstorm to view the lightning. A reflection paints over Mattheo. Hours of work to get here. All for the option of a better life. Theodore and Mattheo would be happy. At least, that was what Mattheo convinced himself.

“Packed?” Theodore walks in with the same uniform and an old backpack on his shoulders.

Mattheo’s eyes fall to the duffel bag. “Mars. Place with a real future… huh?”

“Yeah. Suppose so.” Theodore nods. The two of them are quiet for a long time. Theodore scans Mattheo’s face, reading into his thoughts and hidden emotions. He slides the backpack off his shoulders and places it on the floor. Theodore folds his arms and tilts his head. “Everything alright?” Theodore asks.

“What if life on Earth is really the right option? What if this is a mistake? What if we can’t leave everything behind?” Mattheo finally spills, the weight on his chest lifting.

“I don’t know… but I—” Theodore stops. “If it is life on Earth or Mars… it doesn’t matter.”

Mattheo shakes his head. “There is no hope on Earth… not anymore.”

Theodore lifts his head and nods. “Then I’ll follow. Whatever option. Promise.”