cupid’s arrow hit us perfect

Dear Diary,

Lately, I’m getting teased by my friends about Ray. Isn’t this whole dating business supposed to be kept for some time in my early twenties? Anyways… both of our dads are working for the same company, both of us have one brother and one sister, and our moms’ birthdays are in September. We’re always seen walking around in the same friend group, and it seems like we have no way of escaping each other. We’re the opposite of parallel lines. We would meet in every dimension and at every birthday party. I wonder how Ray is taking this teasing. Does he want to take it to another level?

I guess people see us together a lot, that’s what’s making this fuss. But who on earth started all this in the first place? I wish I could read minds. Our thoughts should be coming out of our heads in the shape of a text bubble, as in a comic book. Life would have been much more predictable and super transparent.

I wish I could read the things Raynold writes in his diary, which makes me doubt if he actually writes one. That day, he “forgot” to brush his hair before coming to school. Can a boy be mindful enough to write his diary and not remember to brush his hair? But I have a feeling that he likes that chaos-filled, punk street music. Saw him wearing that funky neon green whatever logo wristband, which does not go with any of his outfits. Clearly, we have different tastes. We definitely do not have any similarities AT ALL.

Should I pick him as my accepted lucky admirer? Does he admire me? Is that how it works out? Oh no, what have I gotten myself into!

Dear Diary,

Last night was the best night of my life. I got to see PowerSurge live (my favorite band).

And for some reason, when they were playing my favorite song, I couldn’t stop thinking about Nasrin. I told Sagnik after the show and he said that means I’m to be her lucky admirer.

I don’t want to think about that right now.

I just want to be in a punk rock band. I’ve been practicing my drums in secret (well, no secret to my parents who are always telling me to take a break). I know it’s not popular, but it makes my heart beat in a way that nothing else does. It’s the thing that makes me feel the most alive.

Nasrin makes my heart beat in a different way. Should I ask her if she wants to get ice cream this weekend?

She’s so put together. Always looking like she takes two hours to get ready in the morning before school. I barely remember to brush my teeth.

Does Nasrin even like ice cream?

Dear Diary,

They say opposites attract, and I think I’m starting to find the similarities between us. I think Ray is softening a little bit, he treats me like a lady now. He takes noticeable strolls in front of my class, and he’s always smiling. I’m rethinking all the times we spent together, and I’ve never seen him smiling so often. Am I detecting this just now, or has he always been like that?

Today, he and Sagnik were standing in front of the ice cream shop, and I happened to run across the shop for Tessa (she mistakenly took my shoe after swimming class; we have the same size). But the strangest part is, Ray gave me a lingering look as if he wanted to say something or wanted me to start the conversation. The “discone” ice cream they were having was tempting, but shoes first, so I just had to ignore the whole locked-eyes situation.

Speaking of which, lately we are locking eyes a loooot! As the doubting personality I have, I think it has to be one of these three: 1. He has crossed eyes, 2. He maybe likes some girl who sits around me, that’s why when he looks at her our eyes lock, or 3. He actually stares at me. Tbh, he has nice, round eyes with long eyelashes. Not to mention how his eyes light up when he talks about that band he likes. For starters, I thought PowerSurge was an energy drink, I even looked it up in a store and became the laughingstock.

I wish he would look at my well-complimented almond eyes with curled eyelashes.

Now this whole “more than friends” thing is beating me up. I wish we had a label of what we are.

Dear Diary,

I have a new addiction. Discone ice cream. It’s the most incredible thing I’ve ever eaten. Sometimes I think about it more than drumming…

Nasrin keeps staring at me at school and I don’t know what to do about it. Her eyes are so pretty and they make me nervous so I just start babbling about PowerSurge when she’s around because I don’t know what to say. She likes Tanveer Evan (of course, all the girls love him). Maybe I should start listening to more pop music so we have something to talk about…

Speaking of Nasrin, she walked by the ice cream shop while Sagnik and I were there on Saturday afternoon (lately we’ve been going every weekend for Discones because we’re both addicted). I was about to ask her if she wanted to join us, but she just walked away to Tessa. Why does she do that?

I’m nervous all the time now. But also excited. Every day I wonder when I’m going to lock eyes with Nasrin, and when we do I get a rush of excitement. Where are all these feelings coming from? Is it love? I want to talk to Sagnik about it, but whenever I do, he just tells me I’m her lucky admirer and then changes the subject. He doesn’t seem to like girls.

The other day, I saw my mom talking to Nasrin’s mom, and when they saw me, they started laughing. What’s so funny!?

Maybe I can ask Nasrin if she wants to help me throw our moms a surprise joint birthday party. Is that weird? At this point, I have nothing to lose. Tomorrow I will ask her if she wants to help me plan something… September is only days away. And who doesn’t like a surprise?

Dear Diary,

Do all boys feel love like Tanveer Evan? Are his feelings true? Was Tanveer relating to someone when writing those songs? I wish I could hear Ray sing, and then I’ll have the slightest hint of what he is thinking. Wait… maybe he can sing at our moms’ surprise joint birthday party. I’ll ask him that tomorrow.

I’m glad he brought up the idea of a surprise party. The pressure of history projects from Ms. Marie is limiting my creativity because most of the time, I’m the one who thinks, plans, and organizes these types of events.

I’m starting to see changes in Ray, first he started to lock eyes, then he asked me out to ice cream on the “excuse” of planning the birthday party. He knows how to plan, and that’s a very responsible act. I wonder if he can plan dates if we date. I’m so tired of hearing from friends that nowadays guys don’t plan dates; maybe he’s not one of them.

We are also practicing a choreography to show our appreciation to our mothers and there’s a part similar to dancing, so he has to hold my hands, and while practicing, when our hands are in contact, I look into his eyes and see him already staring, it feels like there are a thousand words ready to unfold but he is hesitant to make those see the light of day. In those moments, I think about what I have to do to make him comfortable with me to share what goes on in his mind.

If he’s really good at planning, then is he planning something for me? Should I expect something? I know expectation leads to disappointment. But what if I just hope… hope for it?

Dear Diary,

The surprise birthday party was a huge success.

Days before the party, Nasrin caught me off guard and randomly asked me to sing a song for our moms. I told her I was a drummer, not a singer, and she did not hide her disappointment. Little did she know I love to sing almost as much as I love drumming and Discone ice cream…

During the party, we were all so happy, and our moms were beaming with pride. I felt on top of the world. Nas and I pulled off our choreography without a hitch, and when we held hands, I didn’t want to let go.

After we finished singing “Happy Birthday,” I pulled off another surprise by singing a special song I wrote for our moms. I’d never sung in front of a crowd before. My mom always said she liked it when I sing (more than when I play my drums), and I think I saw her shed a few tears when I finished singing and gave her a big hug.

After the party, I asked Nasrin if she wanted to be my girlfriend without even thinking much about it. It was like my heart took over and spoke for me. Well, actually I think my heart took over when I sang my song.

At first, she looked confused, and then she laughed and then said she was hoping for something like this.

And now, believe it or not… I have a girlfriend. Just like that! All these weeks of wondering and feeling confused and nervous and excited…

But now I have to admit I’ve realized I actually don’t know how to be a boyfriend…

I guess to start, I’ll plan our next date.

I feel so happy, I want to plan a thousand dates!